Japan is going to die
…of pig flu.
In a country like Japan it’s possible to live a pretty long life without ever encountering the unsavoury side of living with other humans – threats of violence, street crime, all that really nasty stuff. In fact you can live as sheltered an existence as you desire, so it’s vitally important that you stay tuned to your telly to find out what you should be scared of this week.
A while back we were being instructed to ramp up our well-practised fear of North Korea and its army of starving citizens and its intercontinental ballistic fireworks.
This of course came amidst the panicking we were already doing about impending pauperdom, as brought about by the global financial implosion. Which of course was inflicted on a blameless Japan by those greedy and thoughtless Americans. Of course.
But as these lumps of media chewing gum were beginning to lose their flavour, we needed something new to get our teeth into.
Thank you, swine flu!
With the first reports, around the country those who weren’t screaming were donning those terribly handy facemasks that all diligent Japanese households keep a supply of (and by the next day were sold out in every store in the nation).
But a week later, the scoreboard still read “0”. In fact the tolls weren’t really rising anywhere. The only suspected cases in Japan, newsflashed with great fanfare and drama, later turned out to be more of those disappointing false alarms that the goverment’s recently become so terribly good at.
Yes, like SARS and Bird Flu before, this was winding up into one big damp squib. (Meanwhile, common-or-garden flu will kill nearly half a million worldwide this year. But not to worry.)
But surely a country in a heightened state of fear is a country in a heightened state of preparedness? You’d imagine.
An increasing number of patients with fever have been rejected by hospitals in Tokyo even though their risk of being infected with a new type of influenza is low, given that they have never been to any of the countries affected by the new flu, a Tokyo metropolitan government survey showed Tuesday. The number of cases in which Tokyo hospitals refused medical examinations for such patients totaled 92 from Saturday morning to Tuesday noon, according to the survey.
So let’s do some maths. While actual cases = 0, 92 people are refused entry into the bloody hospital. So when actual cases = epidemic, presumably the bodies will just pile up in the street. Just outside hospitals.
This thoroughly intelligent and sensible response from the medical ‘profession’ was underlined by the following –
Some patients were rejected by hospitals after telling them, ‘‘I work at Narita airport’’ or ‘‘I have a foreign friend,’’ the survey showed.
Pause over that one for a moment. A so-called doctor actually refused treatment to someone who needed it on the basis that there was a foreign name in their address book.
Abandon hope. We’re all going to die.